Ben in the Wollemi National Park, 2001

Ben was adventurous, and he liked the technical aspects of climbing, caving and abseiling which he first learnt through Scouts - though he readily admitted he didn't have a rockclimber's physique and he put on weight very easily. When left to his own devices he would wander about and find a party to attach himself to (either a bushwalking group, or a late-night gathering with lots of alcohol and plenty of music). It never seemed to trouble him whether he knew anyone in the group or not - if not, he soon did. He had a core group of friends whom he cared for and who looked after him as he came and went, usually unannounced.

One of the loveliest things he ever said to me (among all the lovely things he said) was that I was his home. Between the time we came together as a couple in 2000, and the time of his death, we spent only 10 nights apart in total (and he was away for over a week of that on an engineering project). I missed him every moment I wasn't with him.

Ben didn't exactly put off finishing his degree, but as it was a sandwich course, once he started the work experience components he just tended to keep working and forget there was coursework left to do. At last UTS sent him a note to say that if he didn't complete the final few units he wouldn't get the degree at all. Ben never admitted to being fussed by deadlines - he just went a little quiet. He was a full-time dad by this time and a lot of late nights went into getting the final project finished and handed in... by the late afternoon of the due date.

For three years he stayed home and looked after our babies while I went off to the relative sanity of work. But when he wasn't shopping or changing nappies he was laying out plans for renewable energy sources and for designing better 4WD vehicles. Oddly for someone with a dislike of the weightiness of government, he also had a keen interest in constitutional law.

On the Inca Trail, Peru 2001

A happy man: Le Meridien at Bora-Bora, Tahiti 2001

Sunsets, love and looking to new horizons: Ben with me on Hamilton Island, June 2000.

Ben was adorable and impossible to be mad at. When he crashed my WRX the week after I bought it I was more horrified by the look on his face than the cost of getting the steering arm fixed. That was my warning call, though - he had no limits of fear, whether of height or speed. I knew he was driving an unfamiliar car too fast on a wet road and I should have said something - but I assumed he would adjust his speed before the corner. After this small accident I always made a point of saying something, even - especially - when the risk was obvious. Though it exasperated him sometimes, he understood my fears were different to his, and I had of course explained to him why I was doing it. But I had only one real fear - of something happening to him.

The night he fell I was about to tell him to hold on tight to the bushes as he passed them. I didn't, and the reason I said nothing was because he had just warned our friend Sean to be careful because the edge was right beside us. I thought, "It's OK, he knows."

It wasn't OK. I broke my golden rule. He lost his footing and was out of my reach before I could turn around to stretch out for him. All I could do was watch him grab at the ground and slide silently over the edge into the darkness.

And I deeply, deeply wish he had taken me with him.

Two Nuts at Stanley, Tasmania, in 2004

Ben holding Aengus at the Tamworth Lookout, 2005

Family picnic at Wiseman's Ferry in 2005

In high places - a detour off the pipeline track, Wolgan Valley, 1999(?)

Outside the sheltered waters of the Whitsunday Islands in 30-40 knot winds. Ben is steering and 'Captain' Milton (the only one of us with experience) is about to suggest that we bring the sail in before we sink.

Pretty in pink: Erik's psychadelic birthday party, complete with sex, drink, drugs and bad hairstyles. Ben, Ian and Cameron are attempting to look cool.